my idol! :)

i was struck by the first line of the first reading yesterday, it says ”Christ is the image of the invisible God.”

i remembered a time in my theology year where i had this professor who shook my faith. he didn’t know it of course.it all started when he said that the bible, including the new testament, is a literary work written by the so-called “inspired people” most of whom were not present on the events they wrote. In the case of new testament, most of the writers had not really seen the historical Jesus. in short, the authenticity of the historical accounts are not conclusive.

that took me by surprise. it bothered me so much that i began to question the Lordship of Christ, the second person in the Holy Trinity. Questions popped in, one after the other; what if the miracle accounts of Jesus were but pure exaggerations? what if He really didn’t resurrect? What if He is just like us, although intelligent and charismatic, but still just like us with no special power other than a witty tongue? Given that He has risen from the dead, how come He has never showed up again? If He is really Lord and He really wants to save us, then his reappearance in our generation is not too much to ask, is it? unless of course He is not that powerful. Other than the bible, what proofs does the church have of His divinity? What if the bible is wrong? Isn’t the bible just made by people?, the fact that it even has grammatical errors and inconsistencies of historical accounts, e.g. the two creation stories of the Genesis, then it must not be immune of error in form and essence. I mean if the very first two chapters are already in conflict with each other then why will I let such a book control me for the rest of my life?

as i pondered more on it, the more i got convinced that Jesus was no different than i am. I still believed in God, that was not the issue. My very existence was the most concrete evidence that there is a Creator, but Jesus was a totally different case.

for a year i put on hold my faith in the second person of the trinity, until one afternoon, i just realized that so what if Jesus was not magical, so what if his miracle accounts were just exaggerations, so what if he did not rise from the dead, what matters is how he lived and what values he held until his last breath.

then i began to search more on the historical Jesus; his activities, his enemies, his friends, his families, his community, his decisions, his followers, etc. and as i read more the new testament i began to see a different Christ, at least not the Christ that I thought he was. this time i was seeing a person, a man who loves to socialize, a man who prays and cries and panics, but a man who truly loves his friends even if they were the most unlovable of all. a man who values sincerity over popularity, service over fame. a man who loves his mother and father. a man who shares what he has, and teaches what he believes in. a man who walks his talks. a man of love.
in the whole history of the world ( and i am speaking as a history teacher), i am yet to know a man who has loved as much as He did, the kind that doesn’t count the cost, the kind that doesn’t consider the worthiness of the one being loved, the kind that doesn’t stop loving even when he was betrayed and disowned by his very best friends. such love could only come from a divine. such could only come from a pure soul. Then it just dawned on me that Jesus’ divinity is not really revealed in his miracles and magics, it sprang out of his humanity. He is divine not because he could stop the wind from blowing nor because he could raise the dead but because he can and did love the most unworthy one. He is indeed the son of the Father, the image of the invisible God.

so if i were to waste my life, i might as well waste it following the footsteps of the one who has lived it to the full. and even if i falter most of the time, what matters is my trying.
and if when i die, a contrary truth would meet me, then i shall still not regret believing in Him, for i could not think of any better way to live a life than that which He showed in His very own life. Amen